I should really have sat down to write this post when Freya was a newborn but I used that time to nap! Still do when I get the opportunity and my housework is all done. Anyway back on to the subject at hand, deciding when it was time to start trying for a baby.
Bob and I got engaged Easter 2016 and a couple of months later had booked our wedding venue for 19th May 2017 giving us 12 months to sort out the wedding. A couple of months later we were moving out of our parent’s homes and into a house of our own.
I don’t really remember how the conversation about babies actually got started but September we decided that we would like to have a baby not long after we got married. We knew that it could take months or even years to fall pregnant but also knew the risk that it could happen instantly.
As a couple who had been together for 8 years at this stage and were about to embark into married life, I guess we just thought what will be, will be. Contraception was stopped completely in October and we declared ourselves to be “not trying” as to not put pressure on us but if it happened then that was ok. (I don’t think I thought about the prospect of being a heavily pregnant bride very well at that point!)
Fast forward to Christmas 2016 and nothing was happening, we ate, drank and enjoyed our nights with both family and friends (one of which was a very drunken Christmas Eve drinking wine with some friends until 2am and tracking Santa Claus on an app!) . When January appeared, I decided to do Dry January and go on a detox but halfway through the month failed spectacularly and got very merry with friends once again.
At the end of the month I was late and almost immediately knew that I must be pregnant. I took a test and it came up Negative. I said to Bob that I was never late and I must be pregnant so would do another test in a week or so. It slipped our minds and around 10 days later dawned back on me one early morning before work.
Bob had gone away for work to supplier meetings (One of which was the makers of ClearBlue pregnancy tests – THE IRONY), so I was on my own that morning when I took the test. I followed the instructions and left it to work itself out whilst I got ready for work. I don’t think I really knew how I’d feel if it came up Positive but sure enough there were 2 lines and a big fat positive looking back at me. I knew I couldn’t tell Bob on the phone so off I trotted to work for the day keeping an incredible secret that I really wanted to share.
Bob came home later that night and was a little shocked to say the least but within an hour was downloading a pregnancy tracking app so we could try to work out dates.
I guess the decision to have a baby came because we knew we were settled and financially stable. We started saving immediately to top up my reduced maternity income over the 12 months I planned to be off and I am so glad we did. As a family we’ve been able to maintain our previous standard of living despite a reduced income as well as affording to buy necessities for our tiny human.
When it comes to having another child, we will definitely be planning our savings and outgoings as we did before as this really does have a large impact on our decision. Childcare isn’t cheap so we want to make sure that both Freya and any future children get a comfortable upbringing without having to do without basic essentials. But I will say I am so glad we had Freya when we did and honestly cannot remember our lives before her.